Guffaw(ing) moments from Doyle's The Snapper.
She read about eating. Nearly everything she normally ate was wrong. She decided she'd follow the instructions in the book. She wasn't getting sick in the mornings but she started having dry toast for her breakfast, just to be on the safe side. It was good for morning sickness. She ate raw carrots. She took celery home from work and chewed that. Jimmy Sr banned the carrots and the celery when the telly was on, except during the ads. If she didn't go easy on the carrots he said, she'd give birth to a fuckin' rabbit. And there were enough bunnies in the house already.
:-)
They laughed.
-Ah, she was nice, said Sharon. -Come here though. I nearly died, listen. She said she wanted to know me menstrual history an' I didn't know what she talkin' abou' till she told me. I felt like a right fuckin' eejit. I knew what it meant, like, but I was-
-Why didn't she just say your periods? said Yvonne.
-Doctors are always like tha', said Mary.
-Menstrual history, said Jackie. -I got a C in that in me Inter.
They roared.
:-)
Darren walked into the kitchen.
-Happy birthd'y, son.
-Happy birthday, Darren.
-Happy birth'y, Darren.
-Good man, Darren, said Jimmy Sr. -There y'are.
He handed Darren a thin cylindrical parcel.
-Wha' is it?
-It's your birthd'y present, Jimmy Sr told him.
-It's not a bike.
-I know tha', said Jimmy Sr.
-What is it?
-Open it an' see, son.
Darren did.
-It's a pump.
-That's righ', said Jimmy Sr. -It's a good one too.
Darren didn't understand. He looked at his da's face.
-I'll get yeh a wheel for your Christmas, said Jimmy Sr.
-An' the other one for your next birthd'y. An' then the saddle. An' before yeh know it you'll have your bike. How's tha'?
Darren looked at the pump, then at his da. His da was smiling but it wasn't a joking smile. He looked at his ma. She had her back to him, at the sink. Now he understood. He understood now: he'd just been given a poxy pump for his birthday. And he was going to be getting bits of bike for the rest of his life and --But the twins were giggling. And now so was Sharon.
His brother, Jimmy, stood up and was putting on his jacket.
-Yeh can pump yourself to school every mornin' now, he said.
-Yis are messin', said Darren.
He laughed. He knew it. He had a bike. He knew it.
:-)
